Sunday, October 30, 2011

A legacy

" I had feelings of fear about the future...The devil kept on whispering, "It's all right now, but what about afterward? You are going to be very lonely"....And I turned to my God in a kind of desperation and said "Lord, what can I do? How can I go on to the end?" And He said, "None of them that trust in Me shall be desolate." That word has been with me ever since." ~ Amy Carmichael
 

Back in 2006 it was recommended that I read "A Chance to Die" About the life and legacy of Amy Carmichael.  I remember buying the book with great expectation and picking it up to read and finding it dull.  It was just one of those book I could not get into.  So, I put it down knowing one day I would pick it up again and read it.


Five years later I have picked it up agin.  My experiences are vastly different now and I can relate very much with the life of Amy Carmichael and the choices she made for the Lord.  This time it is hard for me to put the book down to do my assignments and work. 


It has been over a hundred years from when Amy set out on her missionary journey to when I set out on mine.  Yet God has not changed and the truths Amy lived by are still relevant for me to live by.  It encourages my heart to read about a woman who lived her life fully for the Lord.  Who laid down everything for the Lord and lived a life out of love for Him.  I want to live my life in the same way.  It is not easy, but God is always good and He is faithful.


  "All the paths of the Lord are loving and faithful" Psalm 25:10 I have pondered this verse lately, and have found that it feeds my spirit. All does not mean "all - except the paths I am walking in now," or "nearly all - except this especially difficult and painful path." All must mean all. So, your path with its unexplained sorrow or turmoil, and mine with its sharp flints and briers - and both our paths, with their unexplained perplexity, their sheer mystery - they are His paths, on which he will show himself loving and faithful. Nothing else; nothing less." ~ Amy Carmichael 


"If my interest in the work of others is cool; if I think in terms of my own special work; if the burdens of others are not my burdens too, and their joys mine, then I know nothing of Calvary love." ~ Amy Carmichael



“But God is the God of the waves and the billows, and they are still His when they come over us; and again and again we have proved that the overwhelming thing does not overwhelm. Once more by His interposition deliverance came. We were cast down, but not destroyed.” ~ Amy Carmichael




Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Subscribe by email

It has come to my attention that my email subscriber is not working.  I gave a very valiant effort to fix it, but I am not sure it worked.  If you are a email subscriber to my blog and get this via email would you please comment on this post and let me know that it is now working.  If you are reading this and know how to fix it, please comment and let me know how to do it.
Thank you SO much :)  

Sunday, October 16, 2011

A day in the life of a midwifery student

My pillow is so comfortable, the fan is cooling me enough that I can cozy up with a sheet.  I am comfortable and I am sleeping.  Creak, the door opens, "Tianne, Tianne, she's pushing" "what? Oh, OK, I'm coming"  Its 1am and I am slipping out of bed.  I pull my hair back and quietly walk down stairs and into the birth room.
The laboring woman may or may not notice that I have entered the room.  She is busy concentrating on pushing her baby out.  The room is busy with activity, her midwife is sitting at her feet encouraging and guiding her.  Her birth partner is at her head, wiping her sweat, holding her hand, saying encouraging words or even sitting behind her and supporting her as she pushes.  The birth assistant is in-between, helping in whatever way is needed and there is someone sitting off to the side charting everything as it happens.  I jump in where I can, giving the women sips of water, handing things to the midwife, taking over charting or just standing back to observe.  Depending on how hard I was sleeping varies on how long it takes me to become coherent in the birth room.
 Everyone woman is different, I have entered the room just as the baby has slipped into the world or sometimes the pushing stage lasts over an hour.  It is a beautiful, yet intense time.  I often feel overwhelmed, as I am still very much in the learning stage and often feel helpless in knowing what to do.  Yet little by little I learn more and with each birth I attend I become move involved.  The other day I cut my first cord and in a few months I'll be catching my first baby.  They say you never feel ready, it is just something you have to do.  I am excited for the day I start catching, yet I think it is true, I will probably never feel ready.
From 1-3 hrs after getting up for a birth I am normally back in bed.  My mind is buzzing, I am so tried, yet sleep is hard to come.  Finally, I slowly doze off only to awaken a few hours later as the sun starts to heat up the room.  Again a slid off my top bunk and head down stairs.  I inquire about the new baby and pour myself a cup of tea.  With my Bible in hand I head out to the kiosk (thatch covered gazebo).  As I open God's word, I try to soak it in but my mind is fuzzy and I normally end up just sitting quietly before Him.  Telling Him that I just can't do this without Him.
After about an hour I come back in.  I have an assignment due in a few days and that one huge question is hanging over my head.  With a pile of books, my computer and a fan blasting on me, I get to work.  Asking God to give me the wisdom and the strength that I need.  It is not easy for me and yet God gives me what I need to push through each day.  He is my strength when I have none, He is my reason for pushing on and pressing through.
I am reading a book, "The Practice of the Presence of God", by Brother Lawrence.  In it he talks about making the love of God the end of all his actions, making everything he does for God, doing everything out of love for God and that our only business is to love and delight ourselves in God.  I am reading the book slowly and letting the words soak into me.  When I am frustrated, tired or complaining I ask myself "am I doing this out of love for God?"  If I am doing everything for Him, I know that can delight in the book work just as much as I do the hands on portion of school.  It is a discipline to learn to rejoice in all things, when you feel pushed to the limit or even beyond the limit and yet out of love for Jesus I desire this discipline of rejoicing in all things and doing every act of my day, from praying with a pregnant women to cleaning the bathroom out of love for God! 

Friday, October 7, 2011

A walk in the rice field


There is a place I like to go when I just need a moment to myself
I like to walk the skinny paths of the rice field behind the clinic
There is beauty to be seem in the freshness of being outside



I am reminded that I am not at home anymore by the sights that I see
Clover, is my only companion as I traverses the skinny path


"Blessed are all who take refuge in Him"
Psalm 2:12

She never disagrees with me, only makes me laugh at her silliness 

I am reminded of what an amazing God I serve by observing His creation 

"Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths"
Psalm 25:4

"The creatures of the field are Mine."
Psalm 50:11
The rice field is a quiet place, if I see someone they are caught up in their work
and don't pay any attention to me
Clover likes to lag behind and then race to catch up







There is beauty every where, it refreshes my soul
Clover also likes to help me take pictures by chewing on the camera strap
Or trying to climb on top of the camera
He leads beside quiet waters, He restores my soul
psalm 23:2-3
I feel a bit like a child again making new discoveries 




The field isn't very big, but its skinny paths wind back and forth
separating the different fields of rice









Clover, often slips down the bank and isn't quite big enough
 to climb up again by herself

This guy is not something I see on my walks at home...
I am wondering do you know what he is?
It was hard to get a picture of these guys, they would not hold still:)

I am not sure what this guy's name is but he looks like a flying
saucer lady bug to me
The sunsets early here  and I only have a short time to walk
between dark and the time it cools off in the evening.
It is now time to walk away from my quiet place and resume
my studies.  I am refreshed!

"You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand."
Psalm 16:11