Life as a home-birth midwife

I had been feeling that there would be a birth on Valentines day, with the full moon and all. But there wasn't. So here it was the day after, my head stuffy and nose running. It was 9pm and I was looking at a bottle of Benadryl:  should I or shouldn't I? I debated. The misery of my runny nose won and I reasoned that the chances were unlikely that I would be called as I tipped back the 2 tablespoons and envisioned a full nights rest. 

A pile of blankets on my bed, Call the Midwife novel in hand, I snuggled down for a lovely nights rest. With the help of the book and Benadryl, I soon could no longer keep my eyes open and flipped off the light. Sweet wonderful sleep, surely I will feel much improved in the morning I thought as I drifted off to dream land. 

Not even 40 minutes later my phone rings. Surely not I think, but I know. Sure enough it is Kathi and she says a mother is in labor and I need to come. I have to confess, it doesn't matter how much I love something that first step forward is hard to take. As I said OK, I'm coming and hung-up the phone, I looked at my cozy, warm bed and saw my dreams of a wonderful night’s sleep vanishing before my eyes. 

About 10 minutes later I was pulling out of my drive way into the night. It was 10:45pm. My GPS told me I would reach my destination in an hour. As I turned onto the main road, from the little side road, for some reason I didn't use my blinker or come to a complete stop - there was no one in sight. What is the point right? Shortly after I turned, I saw red and blue lights in my rearview window "oh crap" I said as I pulled over. "do you know why I pulled you over?" the officer asked,  I stammer that I am a midwife on my way to a birth as I handed him my license and registration. This is my second time being pulled over since returning from the Philippines, but only my 4th time in 14 years. I pray he will have mercy on me and not give me a ticket. He comes back and thankfully only gave me a warning. Whew!  

One huge difference between being a midwife here vs in the Philippines, is that in the Philippines the women came to us and here we go to them. I love both, but there is something extra exciting about driving through the night to a birth. Thankfully the roads were dry and I made good time. I had never been to this family’s home before and had only met the mother once. She told me their house is a little confusing to find, but I stored her instructions in the back of my mind. As I parked my car in an empty parking lot, I looked over in the direction where the GPS says the house is, there are many homes. What is the worst that can happen I think:  go to the wrong house at midnight. Thankfully her directions come flooding back and I made my way to the correct house. 

When I opened the door, I could see my fellow midwife across the room and the mother laboring in a birth tub. It is quiet and the lighting is dim. I headed back and say hi to everyone. The mother sounds transitional and I quietly and quickly helped set up the needed supplies for the birth. I am the assistant, so I lingered more in the back shadows. Shortly after I arrived, the couple’s  little girl, about 6,  woke up and came to watch. She is quiet, content and doesn't appear worried at the noises and strange movement coming from her mother. She just watches and helps offer her mom water. It is sweet. 

About an hour after I arrived, her water breaks and we know the baby will come quickly now. Sure enough, with mom kneeing in the tub, and only about two pushes, her baby girl comes sliding into the world. Beautiful!  I tried to remember to chart what was happening. Time seems to stand still at the moment of birth and I too want to stand still. But I have a job to do and I must record what is happening and make sure both mom and baby are OK. I love all aspects of being a midwife and the care that I give, but for me the moment of birth is like the icing on the cake. 

After a few moments the mom looked to discover if she has a boy or girl. She states "a girl, just like I thought".  The husband looks surprised and has to ask twice if she is sure. They already have one boy and one girl, but he was obviously hoping for a boy.  He smiles and says to his little son in his arms "I guess we are out numbered now". 

The 3 hours after the birth went quickly as we helped make the family comfortable and monitor mom and baby. They are doing great and soon we are putting on our boots and coats and heading back into the darkness. It is snowing when I leave.  I yawned and decided that I needed to find some coffee before I make the journey home. Meijer is just down the road and it is open 24hrs. I head there, it is 3:30am and they are busy restocking the store. I quickly bought my coffee drink and am soon on my way home. The snow was softly coming down, the darkness surrounds me and I am tired. I change the radio and sing sleepily along to the songs. It is hard to stay awake. But I finally make it home, back to the bed I left many hours ago and snuggle down until the sunshine comes beamingin my window a few hours later. 

Happy New year - A short look at 2013

Happy New Year! This year I found myself ringing in the year with my parents, one of my brother's and his family and two friends. It was a fun filled evening and a sharp contrast to last year.

2013 was a full year for me. It was a year of hellos and goodbyes. Of joy and of pain. A year of questions and taking a deeper look at my life's path. In it all one thing remained the same, God's consistent love and guidance. Sometimes life can seem overwhelming and I am thankful that He never changes through it all. Here is a few highlights of my year. Enjoy :)

I "caught" 20 babies. 

                                                     Moved from Asia to North America.

                                       Took the most stressful test of my LIFE and passed! 

                                   

Imported my dog Clover to the States and said goodbye to my old dog Zacchaeus. 

I made a decision to serve in Doro, S. Sudan starting in April 2014.

Was blessed with my first nephew :)

Took a pack trip in the mountains of Wyoming with a good friend. 

Found myself in temperatures ranging from over 100 to -20. 

I turned 30 - the lead up to it was more traumatic then the actual day ;) which I got to spend with my favorite little girls :) 

These are just a few key points. All in all it was a great year full of many blessings. Thank you to everyone who helped me, supported me and prayed for me!

 I hope that your 2013 was a good year and I wish you the best in 2014! 

Saying goodbye

After two years of living at Abundant Grace of God, my time has come to an end. I was blessed by all the people who passed through my life while I lived and served there. New friends were made and new lessons learned. I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who made my training in the Philippines possible - the people who prayed, gave and taught me! Thank you for being God's hands and feet in my life and thank you for believing in me!

Only God knows what all the future will hold for me. But I do know that wherever I go and whatever life throws my way, I will strive to live Christ to those around me. I am so grateful for my skills as a midwife and I look forward to using them to serve women both here at home and in Africa.

Enjoy a few pictures of my last few special days in the Philippines.

With a group of women and babies that I helped give care for/deliver at a party I held for them right before I left - it was such a blessing to be able to see so many!  

One of my last continuity patients - she ended up delivering in the hospital.  

I will miss watching "my" babies grow up!

The first baby Tianne in the Philippines - she was not to sure about her name sake :)  

Aaron and his pretty mama

Happy boy Christian  

They were not able to make the party, so some stopped by the clinic to say goodbye - so sweet! 

Alice and her new baby, Chloe Grace, who she asked me and Aisling to name. 

A sweet gift from a patient

The day after my party I was honored by a small graduation ceremony. We have a lovely dinner and then Georgia presenting me with a neckless with original Kalinga beads on it and my certificate of diploma from New Life School of Midwifery. Two years of accomplishment - finished! The Filipino staff sang me a farewell song - so sweet!  

Georgia and I

The Filipino girls singing - love you girls! 

Spending time together.

Myself with Hazel and baby Cayleen - my very first catch! 

“Good bye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end, but in my heart is the memory and there you will always be.” ― Walt Disney Company

Baby Rheaner Tianne - Second repeat patient

I love catching babies and I double love catching more than one baby for the same mother. Her first baby, Eliza Jane, was my third catch on December 9th 2011. Her second baby, Rheaner Tianne, is my sixty-first catch on July 5th 2013. 

I was able to do all the prenatal exams for this baby and loved seeing little Eliza at the visits (for some reason I never took a photo). The first baby took 38 minutes of pushing and for this baby only 12 minutes! It is true (most of the time), second babies are easier than first babies. 

This young man loves being a daddy. He eagerly held his baby girl shortly after her birth, speaking sweetly to her and gently touching her face. Later he helped me give her, her first bath and dressed her for the first time. They are young parents and some would see this as a bad thing, but when you see the love between them and the love they have for their little girls, I can see nothing but goodness. 

It was an honor to be apart of such a special time for this young family. I pray God's riches blessings on them and their growing family. 

Isn't she sweet? 

A village birth

This is blog attempt #5 in the past few weeks. When I would sit down to write a new blog post I could find no inspiration to be found. Every attempt sounded bland and who wants to read a bland blog post? While I can't say I am feeling completely inspired at this moment, I am feeling more inspired. So, heres a little story for your enjoyment and maybe with one post written it will inspire me to write more...

Last month for the first time since arriving to Tabuk I went to one of our neighboring villages where we do outreaches to pick up a mother in labor. The village is about a half an hour drive from the clinic and being that it was the mother's 8th baby I was pretty sure that we wouldn't actually make it before the baby was born. I prayed silently as we drove through the dark stillness for a safe delivery no matter where it might take place.

When we arrived the mom was squatting just inside the door of her house with the baby laying behind her on a fleece shirt and the placenta under her. Both mom and new baby girl were just fine. I quickly cut the baby's cord and we covered her with a clean blanket. After seeing mom and baby happily nestled together with the baby nursing we continued to help with the immediate postpartum care. In just over an hour we were driving through the darkness on our way back to the clinic. The new family contentedly snuggled in safe and sound.

This experience is etched in my mind, the picture remains clearly to me even now over a month later. I can see the mother,  her new baby, two of her now 8 girls, and the grandmother. The two girls were  sleeping sweetly on a matt just near by,  oblivious of their new little sister. I can see the grandmother's wrinkly skin, her bent back and her smile light up when we ask her who caught the baby and she rose her arms and proudly said "I did". I feel like I was given a gift, to be able to share in a small way, the birth of a beautiful new baby girl.

My first repeat patient delivers

Rose has delivered all 3 of her children at Abundant and I have had the honor of being the midwife for her last two. I don't remember much about Christian Joy's birth, it was only my 6th catch and Rose pushed for a little over 40 minute and hemorrhaged. It was a hard birth and that is mostly what I remember.

When I discovered she was pregnant again, I started to pray that this time she would have a nice and easy delivery with no problems and she did!! :) 

She arrived at 6am yesterday morning and was 5cm dilated with fairly strong contractions. Rose labored quietly, sitting on the birth ball with her husband rubbing her back. I would come in every hour and check the baby's heartbeat. She was so quiet that it was hard to tell her progression, of course there were little signs that let me know things were moving along and around 10am I felt she was getting pretty close so I stayed just outside the birthroom door. 

After hearing her becoming much more active, I got up to glance in the birthroom and found her in the bathroom. A few moments later her husband comes rushing out for me, I hurried in and quickly put a pair of gloves on picturing the baby coming out in the bathroom. I found Rose washing off her legs and she looked up at me as if to say "do you mind, I am in the bathroom". 

She came out and laid on the bed. I sat down to see if there would be any opening when she started to push. As soon as a contraction hit boy was there opening! Bag of water visible, bag of water broke, head visible, head coming, head out, baby out, ALL in one minute! Little Amanda Vheil was born at 10:51am and the placenta was soon to follow with minimal blood loss. Praise God! 

Her daddy was quick to check to see if he had a boy or girl (his oldest 2 are also girls). At first he had a slight look for disappointment on his face, but it didn't take long for him to fall in love with his newest little princess :) 

I am so thankful for the opportunity to be apart of bringing two little girls safely into this world for the same mom and dad :) 

My first repeat patients!

I am very excited to announce that two of my previous patients are expecting again (not sure what this says about my ability to teach family planning) and both should deliver before I return to America. I find it ironic that both of these babies happen to have Jane in their name. 

Eliza Jane was only my third catch as a midwife. It was her mom Rhea's first baby and at just 17 years old she did a great job! Eliza's daddy first wanted to call her Bikini - I suggested if he really wanted to he could nickname her that :) Rhea is now due sometime in July (she is having an ultrasound to determine the due date). I really enjoyed this young couple and am really looking forward to being her midwife again and this time also doing her prenatal care. 

Christine Jane was my sixth catch and was lucky enough to be born on New Years day. This baby will be Rose's third baby (she is going to have her hands full!) and is due the end of March. Christine Jane's birth was a bit rough and I am praying her mom has a easier time for baby #3 and praying that she has a baby boy this time :) 

What Matters to Women, Matters to Midwives – 13 Essentials ©

1. Context Matters

Contributing author Arisika Razak

Context is the circumstance in which events occur that will, to a large degree, determine meaning, define who is in power, and have a profound effect on those giving birth, those being born, and birth workers.

“Birth, this elegant, simple, yet intricate process has had unnecessary, complex, expensive technology superimposed onto it, creating a dangerous environment for birthing women.” -Alice Bailes

2. Content Matters

Content of maternity care is defined by the model of care. The midwifery model and the medical model each utilize different content, such as values, beliefs, ethics; skills, tools, interventions: practices, protocols, providers; politics, economics, and so on. While birth remains the same the world over, the model of care is a cultural construct.

“Midwives carry sacred knowledge of reproductive processes. The mother-infant bond, for example, is so central to the aims of healing and social transformation that it’s not just about delivering babies. It’s about the power of women to transform life.” -Katsi Cook

3. Holism Matters

Contributing author Carol Nelson

Holism in midwifery practice recognizes that what affects one part affects all parts because everything is intimately connected.

“At the moment of birth, there is a rare and brief glimpse of the connection between this world and another, of before and after, of mortal and immortal, of spiritual and physical, of known and unknown.” –Ida Darragh

4. Nature Matters

Nature has designed the elegantly complex processes of pregnancy, birth, lactation, and mother-infant attachment to work innately, and in most cases, no amount of tampering can improve them.

“I think midwifery was developed by people with common sense, people who were close to nature, and people who observed other species of mammals and saw that there were lessons there to be learned.” -Ina May Gaskin

5. Sacred Matters

Midwives say there is a sacred and invisible domain through which women and infants must pass to birth and be born. Birth is not just physiological; it is a soul journey.

Editor & author Geradine Simkins

“I pushed three times, and for a moment I felt I had the Universe between my legs…an image of the Hindu Goddess Kali giving birth to the Universe. It left me joyfully ecstatic. It changed my life forever.” –Arisika Razak

6. Relationship Matters

It is essential in human nature to be in relationship with one another. Midwives and the clients they serve are dynamically intertwined like a braided grapevine of interlaced roots, branches and fruits that feed and support one another.

“I have learned that when you are with a client, she must feel as if she is the only person in your life. She is the center.” -Abby J. Kinne

7. Compassion Matters

Compassion is not a luxury, it is a biological imperative, because as humans our brains are hardwired to care about one another.

“Women need to be cared for and given a safe haven as they walk through the sacrament of birth. Babies need to be properly welcomed as they begin their Earth Walk.” –Geradine Simkins

8. Self-Determination Matters

At the core of the ethic of self-determination is the critical question: Are women in charge of their bodies, their births, their babies, their decisions and their lives, or not? Midwives resoundingly say “yes” and relentlessly advocate for women.

“Years of standing by, of listening to thousands of birth songs, birth cries, complaints, years of seeing joy, blood, sweat and tears have taught me…a woman and her baby are wise together.” -Kip Kozlowski

9. Service Matters

Contributing author Sister Angela Murdaugh

The ethic of service affords deep connection to a community, creates an experience of belonging and purpose, and allows us to live our passions.

“My walls were lined with honors, yet I reflect that somehow it seemed wrong to reward me for doing what I loved to do. I consider myself blessed beyond measure to live and work in such an authentic manner as I was granted.” –Sister Angela Murdaugh

10. Activism Matters

Activism is about ordinary citizens taking charge of creating what we want and fighting for what we feel is right. It is not idealistic. It is a pratical way to live, a way that many culture have, and still do, function.

“I love catching the baby, it is the ultimate experience, but I am also birthing a movement that will eradicate infant mortality, increase breastfeeding rates, and increase the number of Black midwives to improve community health.” -Shafia Monroe

11. Courage Matters

Courage underpins almost everything that midwives do. It is beyond boldness, it is beyond valor, and it is beyond daring. Courage is not a skill, it is a way of life, a willingess to walk with an attitude of fearlessness.

Contributing author Debbie Pulley

“I never intended to be an outlaw, but I was born at a time when the midwifery profession was illegal in many states. Future generations will wonder why we risked jail and our freedom to do midwifery. It is our hope that our grandchildren and our great grandchildren can be born without fear, safely and surrounded by love, into the hands of midwives. -Kate Bowland

12. Lineage Matters

Midwives know and value that we stand on the shoulders of a lineage of ancestor midwives. They may be blood relatives or the family tree of indigenous, traditional, immigrant or grand midwives of the past. They are connected throughout time to this lineage.

“The Smithsonian exhibit celebrated the impact and work done by ‘granny’ midwives from the 17th century to the present and included my authentic birth bag and supplies I take to home births. I learned so much about my sister midwife ancestors. It was in my blood!” – Marsha Jackson

13. Midwives Matter

Midwives matter because what they offer women, infants, and families is unique, ephemeral, artisanal, precious and rare. Midwives will relentlessly advocate for women and will continually take risks in their own lives to support women’s choices.

“I know how we are born makes a difference. The midwives who fought to keep birth sacred and free can be seen as folk heros. We are legendary! I am proud to be part of this noble cause.” -Linda McHale

Birth Matters. How one gives birth, and how one is born, matters deeply.

Whether we enter it intentionally or unintentionally, happily or unhappily, prepared or unprepared, giving birth is a rite of passage like no other. And afterwards, birth is forever embedded in our memories and embodied in our flesh. It is something we remember deep in our bones and our souls our whole lives.

What Matters to Women, Matters to Midwives – 13 Essentials © Geradine Simkins 2010. Excerpted from Into These Hands, Wisdom from Midwives ©, published by Spirituality and Health Books, 2011.

Photographs on this page copyrighted by Tina Williams