Does Jesus care?

Southern Sudan is in the midst of turmoil. Please click here: Does Jesus care? and read about how one missionary is seeing the Lord work during these difficult times.

Life as a home-birth midwife

I had been feeling that there would be a birth on Valentines day, with the full moon and all. But there wasn't. So here it was the day after, my head stuffy and nose running. It was 9pm and I was looking at a bottle of Benadryl:  should I or shouldn't I? I debated. The misery of my runny nose won and I reasoned that the chances were unlikely that I would be called as I tipped back the 2 tablespoons and envisioned a full nights rest. 

A pile of blankets on my bed, Call the Midwife novel in hand, I snuggled down for a lovely nights rest. With the help of the book and Benadryl, I soon could no longer keep my eyes open and flipped off the light. Sweet wonderful sleep, surely I will feel much improved in the morning I thought as I drifted off to dream land. 

Not even 40 minutes later my phone rings. Surely not I think, but I know. Sure enough it is Kathi and she says a mother is in labor and I need to come. I have to confess, it doesn't matter how much I love something that first step forward is hard to take. As I said OK, I'm coming and hung-up the phone, I looked at my cozy, warm bed and saw my dreams of a wonderful night’s sleep vanishing before my eyes. 

About 10 minutes later I was pulling out of my drive way into the night. It was 10:45pm. My GPS told me I would reach my destination in an hour. As I turned onto the main road, from the little side road, for some reason I didn't use my blinker or come to a complete stop - there was no one in sight. What is the point right? Shortly after I turned, I saw red and blue lights in my rearview window "oh crap" I said as I pulled over. "do you know why I pulled you over?" the officer asked,  I stammer that I am a midwife on my way to a birth as I handed him my license and registration. This is my second time being pulled over since returning from the Philippines, but only my 4th time in 14 years. I pray he will have mercy on me and not give me a ticket. He comes back and thankfully only gave me a warning. Whew!  

One huge difference between being a midwife here vs in the Philippines, is that in the Philippines the women came to us and here we go to them. I love both, but there is something extra exciting about driving through the night to a birth. Thankfully the roads were dry and I made good time. I had never been to this family’s home before and had only met the mother once. She told me their house is a little confusing to find, but I stored her instructions in the back of my mind. As I parked my car in an empty parking lot, I looked over in the direction where the GPS says the house is, there are many homes. What is the worst that can happen I think:  go to the wrong house at midnight. Thankfully her directions come flooding back and I made my way to the correct house. 

When I opened the door, I could see my fellow midwife across the room and the mother laboring in a birth tub. It is quiet and the lighting is dim. I headed back and say hi to everyone. The mother sounds transitional and I quietly and quickly helped set up the needed supplies for the birth. I am the assistant, so I lingered more in the back shadows. Shortly after I arrived, the couple’s  little girl, about 6,  woke up and came to watch. She is quiet, content and doesn't appear worried at the noises and strange movement coming from her mother. She just watches and helps offer her mom water. It is sweet. 

About an hour after I arrived, her water breaks and we know the baby will come quickly now. Sure enough, with mom kneeing in the tub, and only about two pushes, her baby girl comes sliding into the world. Beautiful!  I tried to remember to chart what was happening. Time seems to stand still at the moment of birth and I too want to stand still. But I have a job to do and I must record what is happening and make sure both mom and baby are OK. I love all aspects of being a midwife and the care that I give, but for me the moment of birth is like the icing on the cake. 

After a few moments the mom looked to discover if she has a boy or girl. She states "a girl, just like I thought".  The husband looks surprised and has to ask twice if she is sure. They already have one boy and one girl, but he was obviously hoping for a boy.  He smiles and says to his little son in his arms "I guess we are out numbered now". 

The 3 hours after the birth went quickly as we helped make the family comfortable and monitor mom and baby. They are doing great and soon we are putting on our boots and coats and heading back into the darkness. It is snowing when I leave.  I yawned and decided that I needed to find some coffee before I make the journey home. Meijer is just down the road and it is open 24hrs. I head there, it is 3:30am and they are busy restocking the store. I quickly bought my coffee drink and am soon on my way home. The snow was softly coming down, the darkness surrounds me and I am tired. I change the radio and sing sleepily along to the songs. It is hard to stay awake. But I finally make it home, back to the bed I left many hours ago and snuggle down until the sunshine comes beamingin my window a few hours later. 

Today

“Write it on your heart

that every day is the best day in the year.
He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day

who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.

Finish every day and be done with it.

You have done what you could.

Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.

Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;

begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit

to be cumbered with your old nonsense.

This new day is too dear,

with its hopes and invitations,

to waste a moment on the yesterdays.” 

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

My first repeat patient delivers

Rose has delivered all 3 of her children at Abundant and I have had the honor of being the midwife for her last two. I don't remember much about Christian Joy's birth, it was only my 6th catch and Rose pushed for a little over 40 minute and hemorrhaged. It was a hard birth and that is mostly what I remember.

When I discovered she was pregnant again, I started to pray that this time she would have a nice and easy delivery with no problems and she did!! :) 

She arrived at 6am yesterday morning and was 5cm dilated with fairly strong contractions. Rose labored quietly, sitting on the birth ball with her husband rubbing her back. I would come in every hour and check the baby's heartbeat. She was so quiet that it was hard to tell her progression, of course there were little signs that let me know things were moving along and around 10am I felt she was getting pretty close so I stayed just outside the birthroom door. 

After hearing her becoming much more active, I got up to glance in the birthroom and found her in the bathroom. A few moments later her husband comes rushing out for me, I hurried in and quickly put a pair of gloves on picturing the baby coming out in the bathroom. I found Rose washing off her legs and she looked up at me as if to say "do you mind, I am in the bathroom". 

She came out and laid on the bed. I sat down to see if there would be any opening when she started to push. As soon as a contraction hit boy was there opening! Bag of water visible, bag of water broke, head visible, head coming, head out, baby out, ALL in one minute! Little Amanda Vheil was born at 10:51am and the placenta was soon to follow with minimal blood loss. Praise God! 

Her daddy was quick to check to see if he had a boy or girl (his oldest 2 are also girls). At first he had a slight look for disappointment on his face, but it didn't take long for him to fall in love with his newest little princess :) 

I am so thankful for the opportunity to be apart of bringing two little girls safely into this world for the same mom and dad :) 

Stretched

I'm the girl that likes to go to bed early. Who never pulls an all nighter to finish assignments, because I just can't stay awake. I like my sleep. I need to sleep. Yet, here I am training to be a midwife. 

The one thing I was worried about when I decided to be a midwife was the crazy hours you have to work. Babies come on their own terms, at their own time and lets face it, that timing isn't normally 9-5. 

Can I do this I wondered. 

It was a hard at first. Took a while to learn how to wake up and function in an instant. I made blunders, I did (and still do) silly things. Yet I learned, I did it and I do it. 

It is hard to stretch. Hard to mold and change. Hard to do the difficult things. But it is possible to do what seems to be impossible. 

Last night again I was reminded of this. 

I was up first to catch and had the boyfriend (cell phone). The first night my name came to the top of the rotation I had a runny nose and needed to sleep. Please God, I prayed, don't let a labor come in tonight. God answered my prayer and I slept soundly through the night without the boyfriend making a peep. 

The next night I was tried but not feeling so bad, yet I prayed again asking God to wait until morning. God did not answer my prayer, deciding instead that I needed a little stretching.

Having just drifted off into dream land, a text came in. I go from asleep to awake in an instant. A first time mom is in labor and after texting back and forth it is decided she should come. 

I dress in my scrubs and go get the birth room ready. When the girl arrives at 11pm and she is obviously in discomfort. Contractions are strong and after doing her ie I predict she will go fast. I was wrong. 

She does an amazing job, but like I said before babies don't come on anyones terms. The clock ticks, I encourage, her mother rubs her back and she grows tried. Finally at about 5:30am she starts feeling like pushing. 

It is hard to understand. Some babies slid into this world so easily and beautifully, while others do not. This little one, was one of the hard ones. Her mom worked so hard, but it took a long time and finally at just after 7am and a lot of silent prayer a beautiful baby girl entered the world. 

I love seeing the joy on a new mothers face. No matter how hard she worked and how difficult the birth was, it is amazing to see that joy and humbling to hear her thank you for helping. 

So I relish the stretching. I love that God uses me in my weakness. That He teaches me that I really can do all things through Him. That He further molds me in my tiredness, when I want to (and sometimes am) grumpy and have to work to be kind. In the moments when my eyes are so wanting to close and I have to push that extra bit to finish my task. The humbleness I learn, from reaching the end of me and having to except or ask for help. 

Yes, this stretching is good. 

Two baby boys

 I had the honor of catching two baby boys in just over 10hrs of each other.

Meet Ryan Kyle in my right arm and John Rick in my left arm

John Rick was born at 8:40pm on Nov 14th after this mom only pushed for 19 minutes!

He weighted 3.05kg & was born in the cull 

His mom & dad where very excited to become parents! 

Ryan Kyle was born to my continuity patient at 6:45am on Nov 15th, his 16yr old mom only pushed for 15min!

He weighted 3.2kg and was born in the cull too, which is not very common

His mom & dad were very excited to become parents too :)

It was such a joy to walk with this young woman through her pregnancy, birth and now postpartum.

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for catching another lovely baby at 11:02am. Little Jashmine slipped into my hands after her mother gently and slowly pushed her into this world. It was beautiful! I don't think I will ever tire of watching a woman become a mother for the very first time :)

Five beautiful August baby girls

Gwenyth Elise Born at 11:15am on August 2 2012 

Sharmaine born at 1:35am on August 13th 2012

Angelic born at 2:02pm on August 24th 2012

Shekainah Jhun born at 1:08am on August 28th 2012

Jhea Pearl Klarisa born at 4:01am on August 31st 2012 

Life. For now.

11pm 8/23: I head to bed with the "boyfriend"also known as the clinic phone after an evening of studying. Blah. 

2am 8/24: Worried that I might miss the phone going off I groggily wake up and check it. Nothing. 

Some time between 2am & 5:30am: I dream about a birth - do you think I am being consumed by what I do? 

5:30am: The phone goes off and I hear it (which I always do), pulling on my scrubs I  head down stairs to check the patients chart as I wait for her to reply back to a question I asked. 

5:45am: She texts back and is in early labor. I ask her to text again when her contractions get stronger. 

5:50am: Crawling back into bed, I don't even bother to take my scrubs off again. Sleepy. 

8am: I get out of bed to the sound of the tile workers pounding on the porch by my bedroom. This has been happening every morning but Sundays since I returned from break.  Everyone who sees me asks me if I have a labor. "No" I reply, "I just have not bothered to change out of my scrubs". 

8:15am: I drink a glass of black tea as I usually do and for a special treat I eat some cherry pie from the night before (which may I add is a special treat indeed!). 

9:30am: Right as I start thinking it is time to change out of my scrubs the woman from earlier texts that her labor has picked up and she is coming. 

10am: My labor arrives, smiling & sweet. She is 7cm and she will stay. I like her. 

Between 10am & 12pm: I check my patient off and on as I am trying to read a book report book. She is happily laboring outside. 

12pm: Her contractions are much stronger and I stay in the birth room to help her labor. Yet, she is still able to smile and giggle. 

12:30pm: I really have to pee.... 

1:45ish: After some hard wok for my patient breathing through her contractions she starts to push. She is still able to smile and giggle 

2:02pm: She pushes her baby out into my awaiting hands while sitting on the birth stool. I get splashed with amniotic fluid. My sweet patient cries out "my baby, my baby" as I place her new little one on her tummy. 

2:05pm: With a smile she exclaims "its a girl" 

2:23pm: My patient delivered her placenta. Now some of you may want to stop reading at this point, while some of you might find this interesting. Normally the placenta comes out by itself or with a little traction on the cord, this time however, I had to reach in and manually assist it (if anyone would like to know more about this just message me). 

2:40pm: While the practically perfect intern, Suzie, takes care of my patient, I hurry up to change my birth fluid splattered scrubs and then wash the birth fluids off my body. Oh and I  finally got to go pee! Better, I feel better.  

2:50pm: After drinking a cool glass of water I head back down stairs. 

From 2:50 until 4:30ish: I am scurrying around doing odds and end for my patient, such as; vitals for both mom and baby, getting her situated in the postpartum area. When all of a sudden I hear a voice coming from the delivery room bathroom. It's Anie one of my supervisors and experienced midwives on staff. She also had a patient that gave birth around the same time as mine. She needed help, her patient had passed out in the bathroom and was vomiting and bleeding. I along with the intern Suzie rush next door to assist. For the next 15-20 minutes I assisted getting her stable and situated, new IV tubing and fluid were hung, repeated blood pressures and pulse taken and mopping up the floor. Thanks to the help of several other midwives all turned out well. Oh and somewhere in there, I think about 3:30, I was finally able to take about 5 minutes to stuff down some much needed food. That piece of cherry pie had worn off long ago. 

5pm: I flop onto my bed, with my patient on 4 hour checks now, I can rest a bit. Oh, but I forgot to mention that tonight is a going away party for Suzie, who leaves on Sunday. In fact while I was busy with my patient, a videoke machine had been delivered and a delightful spread has been prepared. With yumminess and fun at hand, I just couldn't stay in bed long. 

5:20pm: Another shower... Ok, yes, I may have practiced my singing a little bit as I shampooed my hair. 

5:30pm: We begin our feasting, starting out with "dynamite" deep fried cheese stuffed peppers and deep fired pork belly. YUM. Thanks to a friend from Manila, we also had a fresh lettuce salad. Double YUM. 

6pm: Time for videoko, a favorite Filippino pass time. The machine is siting on the front porch of the clinic and yes, we will leave it there. This will be the third time this month I have sang videoko, I didn't know what songs I really knew and others that I thought I knew and didn't. My song, yes the song that I sing well is the titanic theme song, My Heart Will Go On. I didn't even know I even knew the words very well, much less that I could sing it at all. Yet here I am for the third time in a month belting it out for the neighborhood and yes, our patients to here. Funny thing about the video part, is instead of seeing a couple in love on the screen, there is downhill skiers crashing in the powdery snow. Weird. 

From 6pm to 8:30pm: We dance and sing together. Fun, silly, and simple good times. 

8:30pm: I do my 4hr postpartum check. Both mama and baby are doing well. Then back to singing...

9pmish: I am belting off Shana Twains "Man I feel like a woman" when I glance over to see my patient's face in the small window! She needed me for something... How weird is this? Where else in the world would I be singing on the front porch of a maternity clinic? I love it! 

From 9pmish until 12:30am: Slowly everyone but Suzie and I meander up stairs to bed. We stay on the porch and sing and sing and laugh and sing and dance and laugh. Good times, very good times!! 

12:30am 8/25/12: Another postpartum check, mom smiles and baby sleeps. They are both resting well. 

1am: Off to bed, alarm clock set for 4:25am when I will get up to check mom & baby again. I drift off to sleep worried I will not wake up to the alarm clock. I always worry and I always wake up

2:30am: Check the clock. whew, I have two hours left to sleep. 

4:25am: Chiming, that is getting louder. "Uh, what is that? Oh, gosh my alarm clock" I groggily slip out of bed. 

4:30am: Quietly enter the postpartum room. My patient is sitting up. She smiles. I ask her how she is feeling, "OK mam". Chatting with her I ask when the last time she nursed her baby. Not for awhile she tells me. Too long, so I go to work waking up the baby. She does not want to wake up. I tickle her toes, tickle her ribs and move her arms. She blinks sweetly and tries to go back to sleep. "No, no sweet baby, I coo to her, you need to nurse now" Her mom laughs. I glance at the clock. This is fun, but it would be more fun if it wasn't so early. "lets nurse already baby" I think to myself. About 40 minutes later, baby is finally awake enough and she starts to nurse. I the tired midwife heads back to bed. 

8am: Up again. I fill up my special blue cup with instant coffee and head down stairs. I start the task of getting my patient discharged. Time for another set of vitals, filling out the birth certificate, postpartum instructions, baby bath...

9:30am: I am praying with my patient and taking a family photo. They are ready to head home with their new special blessing. I am tired, yet I am happy. What a gift to share this special time with this family. God is good. 

10:30am: I am finished with charting and tidying after my patient left. 

11am to 12pm: Nap. Nice wonderful nap. 

12pm: Time to get on with where I left off studying... doing what I don't like, so that I can spend a life time doing what I do like, being the hands and feet of Jesus to families through midwifery. 

 

Catching Princess Dyana's first baby

I pray a lot about the labors I will get and God is so good about answering those prayers to meet my study/sleep needs. I knew a couple of things about my next labor; It would be at night and it would be a first time mom. How did I know this, because I have not labored with a first time mom in a long while and God had given me plenty of time to finish my assignment (even through I still had a little bit left, that was totally my fault). So at 9:30pm when I got the text, I was not at all surprised.

Princess Dyana or Dyan for short came marching through the door and toward the prenatal room. "Where is she going" I giggled and redirected her to the birth room. She was all smiles and I really thought I would be sending her home. To my surprise she was 5cm. Dyan was so cute as she danced around the room and walked about. She was happily on a mission to meet her baby and did everything with as much joy as she could muster. During transition Dyan got a bit more uncomfortable, but with a little direction she started to calm down and focus on the task at hand. Soon she was uncontrollably bearing down. Checking to make sure she was fully dilated, I found the cervix at 10cm. Dyan pushed with her body, maybe with a little bit to much gusto and after only 13 minutes of pushing, a smile from out of this world on her face, she pushed her baby girl into the world and into my hands. It was beautiful! She did a fabulous job and with tears of joy in her eyes she greeted her precious baby. With tears in my eyes I witnessed a young woman become a mother and a young man become a father for the very first time. Beautiful.

A special baby

Christian's mom came in for her regular prenatal visit and stated she might be in labor. After doing an i.e. she was surprised to discover not only was she in labor, but 8cm and it would be just a matter of time before she delivered Christian, her third baby. After texting her husband, she sat quietly on the birth ball and asked me when she would deliver, I replied that she would deliver when ever she felt like pushing. A little over an hour later she told me she wanted to try pushing. Laying down on the bed and giving a push her water shot into my lap, yep, I'ed say she was ready to push!

His placenta was shaped like a heart 

A few minutes later a chubby baby boy came sliding into this world. I rubbed him off and placed him on his mommy's tummy and then waited for the placenta to come. A few minutes later my assistant whispered in my ear "his eyes are slanted, I think he has down syndrome." As I continued to wait for the placenta, I prayed that he wasn't. I thought about his mom & dad having to hear the news that their precious new baby would never live a normal life and always require special care. 

Special placenta for a special baby

After the placenta came and we got them settled I was able to take a closer look at the chubby baby bundle and he did indeed have all the tell tail signs of downs; Slanted low set eyes, flat nose bridge, thick neck.... yes he was defiantly downs. We sat quietly beside the bed and as gently as possible explained to his parents his features and what they meant. It is hard to know when the right time to tell something like that is, but sense downs babies can have heart problems we decided in the event something was to happen they should know. 

After telling them, we left so they could have a moment alone, it was hard to read how they felt. When I reentered the room, Christian's daddy was cradling him in his arms and speaking softly to him. Another time when I came in his mommy's face was close to his nuzzling and speaking sweetly to him. Despite that Christian is not "normal" his parents definitely still love him dearly. When it came time for them to take him home. I prayed for them and told them how wonderful their little boy is and talked about how much joy he would bring to their lives. 

The next day his mom text me that he had been admitted to the hospital for an infection and that he would need surgery for an abdominal hernia. Thankful everything else from the exam came out OK. I went to the hospital to visit them and it became clear that the reality of their baby's condition was sinking in. It seemed so little to sit there and tell her that it wasn't her fault and it was OK to be sad. I assured her that God knew that they would take good care of Christian and love him. Such small words, but they did seem to bring a little comfort. 

Please pray for this family and their new little bundle of joy. 
Pray that: 
* They would not blame themselves for his handicap 
* That others would not blame them
* That they would fully love him 
* That they would see the blessing that he is & will be
* Pray that Christian's infection would heal
* Pray that no other health problems would arise
* Pray that he would be able to have his surgery soon
* Pray that he would get a handle on breastfeeding & that his mom would see the importance of breastfeeding him
* Pray that they would feel God's love
* Pray that I would know how to best support & help them

The fast entry of baby #17

It was midnight when my head hit my pillow, "Please Lord" I prayed as I drifted off to sleep,"Do not have a labor text until morning." I was in the middle of an active dream (that I can't remember) when the "boyfriend" sounded. Instantly alert I reached over to read the text. "ahhh" I thought as I noticed the time, "it is 4:30am, God let me get a little sleep." The text was in ilocano and while I couldn't read most of it, I recognized enough words to know it was a labor texting.

She told me her contractions were every 10 minutes apart, so I advised her to wait until they were closer together. Her chart told me she was a G2 (second baby) and when she didn't text back, I began to wonder if she was on her way. I went back to bed, but left my door open so I would hear if someone pulled up. Sure enough a few moments after placing my head back on my pillow, I heard the dogs barking and the roar of a vehicle pulling up. Jumping out of bed I pulled my scrub top on (I had left on my scrub pants) and hurried back downstairs.


The labor who was texting had arrived and looked very active. Upon doing the ie I discovered she had no cervix left on the bottom and a cervixal lip from 9-3 on top of about 8cm. Her water had not broke yet and her contractions were strong. I advised her to try hands and knees position and rest her upper body on the birth ball. This helps the remaining cervix to dilate. She found that uncomfortable and asked to walk. 

In the early morning air she attempted to breath through her contractions, but it soon became obvious that her body was taking over and she was baring down. "I think the baby is coming" she told me as I was about to suggest we head back inside. Upon laying down on the bed there was already 2cm visible of the bag of water. I was advised to break her water because the baby's heart tones were a little low, 2 minutes later a new baby boy slipped into my hands and entered the world. That proud mama only pushed for about 3 minutes and she had her baby only 27 minutes after arriving! I am sure glad she listened to her body and came in when she did.


Because the baby was breathing a bit too fast and his color a tinge pale we ended up transporting to the hospital. I went and visited them this afternoon and he was on an IV drip. His mom told me the doctor said he has an infection and will have to stay in the hospital for a week. His breathing and color looked better and I am sure he is going to be just fine. 


Proud daddy was too shy to be in a photo, but 3 year old big sister wasn't :) Praise God for the wonders of new life and that I get to be apart of it. 

What in the world am I doing Lord?

I go through fazes where I miss home, my family & my friends more keenly then other times. Lately I have been a bit more homesick than normal. It is during these times that I start to ask God more often, what in the world I am doing.

My friend Kim Davey still works in the Didinga Hills of S. Sudan where I lived, served, and feel in love with the land and the people. Didinga continues to be a hard place to work with lots of spiritual warfare and challenges. This past week Kim wrote me an email about a birth she had witnessed. This is a bit of the story:


 "A pregnant woman had been taken down to Chukudum (a 12 mile hike) because she was bleeding, to the point of death. There were no doctors at the clinic there and the bleeding had seemed to stop so her family brought her back up the mountain.


I Found her at the clinic a week later, bleeding, with her placenta half out. She had been bleeding for a week and was quite anemic.


Her mother, aunts and the local midwife worked hard, broke her water and pulled the woman's daughter from her. The baby had been dead for a while.


It was hard to see, hard to hold her down, see her pass in and out of conscienceless, see her pain, hear her say she was dying and ask if her baby was dead... 


It was a miracle that God spared her life. I am thankful. Medicine says she should have died, but she lives."


That is why God has called me to become a midwife, so that these hands of mine can show His love to women like this young woman. While I know that I will probably still see women with empty arms or babies with no breast to feed them. I also know that with my training and God's help, when I return I will be able to help keep women's arms full. It is not an easy calling and often I am afraid of what the future will hold. Yet, God is faithful, He will carry, guide and help me.


* Please pray for the Didinga people. Pray that they would turn and follow Christ
* Pray for Kim and the other missionaries as they work & live to share Christ in this difficult place
* Pray for me, that I would learn, learn, learn all that I can while in school, so that I will be well prepared to return to S. Sudan to serve the Lord there.   
* Pray that I would not grow weary in doing good.
* Pray that I would keep my eyes on Christ and find my hope, peace, and joy in Him alone