I can still feel the soft breeze on my face, the sound of horse hooves, the rhythm of my mount under me. I can see my shinny black faithful dog running happily ahead of me and my short corgi following so close behind the horse's hooves you would think he might get kicked, but he never did. These were fun days of running across meadows, singing at the top of my lungs with only the wild critters to hear me. There were hours spent dreaming, exploring and being free. I would take to the trail and no one really knew where I was headed. Most of the time I didn't even know. Often I rode onto new ground, the road calling me farther and farther.
The bend, there was always a bend up ahead. I always longed for reaching it and seeing what lay around it's corner. Dusk might be settling, I may have something else to do and still I would long to reach that bend. Sometimes, I would forget to look around me, my eyes, fixed ahead. I would often miss a deer standing quietly by or the way the light sparkled through the trees or even some delicious berries growing along the path. In my quest for the unknown, I would miss the present. I would miss the beauty that was right there in the moment for me to enjoy.
You know, once I reached the bend, I rounded it's corner only to find another bend ahead, another mystery that was just up there, just a little out of my reach. Sometimes I would go that little ways further around that bend to see the next and yet sometimes I would have to turn around and head back. I was left wondering what lay just ahead, just where I could not tread. Would I remember this spot? Could I come back and go a little further, Sometimes yes and sometimes no.
Now years later, my life has moved on from that place and that time. Sometimes I would like to go back, but you can't go back. Most times I want to keep moving forward, I long for seeing around each bend that life has ahead. I want to see what lays on the other side. I strain, often I am not content to slowly walk ahead and I try to run. I want to rush because I know that one day something better is around one of these bends and one day I will find it.
Life is strange. We only have the present. The now. Yet, few live in the now. Most like me, are either looking ahead or looking back. Why is it so hard to live right here, right now, where we are? There is so much beauty right here, right where I am. The wind, it is lovely when it blows through the rice fields. The many women with their pregnant bellies and new babies, new life is all around. New hopes and new dreams are literally being born most everyday where I live. It is beautiful. But I am too often busy, busy looking at my next bend. I want to be there I want to round the next corner. I strain. This straining does not help me make it to the bend quicker. No. It only makes the present take longer and not only that it steals the blessings, the beauty of the present away and instead inserts a restless spirit that steals joy. It takes what could be gifts and turns them into curses. In straining to make it to the next bend I miss out on life, the life God has for me right here, right now.
I am challenged. To see beauty right here, right now. To see the good things that God has for me now, today. I am challenged to live in joy, to live in love right now, today, in this very minute. To soak in each family I am blessed to serve through midwifery. To enjoy a house full of godly women that all have a heart to serve God and all the many other wonderful things that are right here, right now. Yes. Yes indeed God has beautiful things in this moment and I can trust Him to have beautiful things in the future. Let me not rush ahead and miss this moment.
"LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." Psalm 16:5-6
The bend, there was always a bend up ahead. I always longed for reaching it and seeing what lay around it's corner. Dusk might be settling, I may have something else to do and still I would long to reach that bend. Sometimes, I would forget to look around me, my eyes, fixed ahead. I would often miss a deer standing quietly by or the way the light sparkled through the trees or even some delicious berries growing along the path. In my quest for the unknown, I would miss the present. I would miss the beauty that was right there in the moment for me to enjoy.
You know, once I reached the bend, I rounded it's corner only to find another bend ahead, another mystery that was just up there, just a little out of my reach. Sometimes I would go that little ways further around that bend to see the next and yet sometimes I would have to turn around and head back. I was left wondering what lay just ahead, just where I could not tread. Would I remember this spot? Could I come back and go a little further, Sometimes yes and sometimes no.
Now years later, my life has moved on from that place and that time. Sometimes I would like to go back, but you can't go back. Most times I want to keep moving forward, I long for seeing around each bend that life has ahead. I want to see what lays on the other side. I strain, often I am not content to slowly walk ahead and I try to run. I want to rush because I know that one day something better is around one of these bends and one day I will find it.
Life is strange. We only have the present. The now. Yet, few live in the now. Most like me, are either looking ahead or looking back. Why is it so hard to live right here, right now, where we are? There is so much beauty right here, right where I am. The wind, it is lovely when it blows through the rice fields. The many women with their pregnant bellies and new babies, new life is all around. New hopes and new dreams are literally being born most everyday where I live. It is beautiful. But I am too often busy, busy looking at my next bend. I want to be there I want to round the next corner. I strain. This straining does not help me make it to the bend quicker. No. It only makes the present take longer and not only that it steals the blessings, the beauty of the present away and instead inserts a restless spirit that steals joy. It takes what could be gifts and turns them into curses. In straining to make it to the next bend I miss out on life, the life God has for me right here, right now.
I am challenged. To see beauty right here, right now. To see the good things that God has for me now, today. I am challenged to live in joy, to live in love right now, today, in this very minute. To soak in each family I am blessed to serve through midwifery. To enjoy a house full of godly women that all have a heart to serve God and all the many other wonderful things that are right here, right now. Yes. Yes indeed God has beautiful things in this moment and I can trust Him to have beautiful things in the future. Let me not rush ahead and miss this moment.
"LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." Psalm 16:5-6
Wow, you put it so perfectly. This could completely be me saying all of this! I have felt these words and thoughts run around in my head SO much. And no, it doesn't change after you get married. Or have a baby. I still find myself most of the time looking back or straining to look forward. Thank you for the reminder to look for the beauty right here, right now!
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