Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for some lovely fall leaves my mom mailed to me. Every morning I wake up and look at them on my wall. They bring back lovely memories of crisp fall days, apple cider, puffy clouds, wood smoke, & the list goes on.

Thanks mom for sending me leaves every year. I love them!

The maple reminds me of the big tree in our front yard. My mom & I had a picture taken by it together for the first 20 or so years of my life 

The Sumac leaf always reminds me of long fall horse back rides 

Each leaf brings back a different memory & the hope of new memories to come 

I LOVE the smell of fall leaves! <3 <3 

On being tall

I am not entirely sure what started my thinking, but I have the itch to cut my hair short, really short. This lead me to google “tall women and shot hair”, just to see if I would look good. Turns out there are lots of differing views on the topic. While I was browsing, I ran into websites dedicated to tall women, yep that’s right support groups for us overly tall ladies (a tall blog for your enjoyment:
thetallblog.wordpress.com ). I enjoyed readying through the different sites about how beautiful being a tall woman is. It made me feel nice :) Then I decided to write a blog about my own story of tallness.

For those of you who don’t know I have always been tall, there was no amazing grow spurt. Here is a picture to prove it :) 

These are my cousins, us in blue are the same age

Is my family tall? 
yep. 

Am I the tallest in my immediate family? 
sure am. 

Am I dutch? 
no, there is not a lick of dutch in my family tree.

Do/did you play basketball? 
No, never, nor did I ever want to - please stop with the basketball questions 

Do you like being tall?
Yes I do. 

A few things I love about being tall:
I love being able to see over a crowed of people. 
I love being able to reach things easily. 
I like my long curves. 
I like people telling me I should be a model (even if I don’t completely believe I could be). 
I like being told that only tall women can ever really be stunning (even if I don’t feel like I am stunning). 

Somethings I don’t like so much about being tall:
I’m an introvert, I do not like being noticed where ever I go. Ok, sometime I do, but I wish there was a switch so the 90% of the time I don’t want to be noticed I wouldn’t be.
I don’t like the stares and finger pointing, at all. 
I do not like the exclaim “wow, you are so tall!” no really? I hadn’t noticed, thanks for pointing that out to me. 
I don’t like to be told to be proud of my height and stand tall - really, I don’t remember ever trying to be smaller, ever. 
I don’t like being taller than what seems to be 90% of men. Yep, I said.  It stinks. 

Really I don’t mind being tall through I would rather be more in the middle, like say 5’10. But if I had to be an extreme I would rather be tall than short. 

Being tall is harder in Asia. I am seriously more then a head taller then most everyone. I feel weird. I miss being around tall people and not standing out 100% of the time. I don’t like feeling like a giant, through I am learning to embrace it. I don’t like the comments, the points, the stares... like I said I am a introvert. 

Me in public transportation here in the Philippines - I just don't fit 

Giant

Where is God in all this? I think every person that is different in some way has asked God why at least a few times. I sure have. He gave me an answer a long time ago. Really. God told me that He knew I would get lost in a crowed and that He made me to stand out, so He gave me my height to ensure I do.  There have been times I have not liked God so much for this “gift”, because I really don’t like being noticed. But, I have learned that it isn’t about me and through my height God allows me to talk to people I never would or rather people to talk to me who never would just because I am tall.  I have opportunities to share His love by just being tall, now that is pretty cool. 

My tall family (most of the short people have married in :) 

Through being tall I have learned to except people for who they are, because I want to be excepted for who I am. I have learned that despite what I might think or believe, the truth is God made me this way, He is happy with the results and I should be too. I am beautiful, made in the imagine of my Creator and I learned this in my struggle to embrace standing out in a way that I can’t ever change.

So for anyone who wanted to know, yes, I like being tall :)

I felt like her mother as I held her hand and stroked her hair as she lay on the birthing chair at the public hospital. It was about 3pm in the afternoon and she had been laboring at Abundant with me since 3am. This 17 year old girl was very strong and she tried really hard. Unfortunately once she got to 9cm her cervix would not finish dilating. I had been her midwife since April and had developed a special relationship with her. I wanted her to have such a great birth and I was excited to place her first baby on her belly.

I have found as a midwife there is always room for second guessing, it is hard to know how long to try and when to transport. After trial pushing, waiting and trying to push again, I told her that I was worried she was getting too tried and that if she wanted she could wait a little longer or we could go to the hospital now. She had tears in her eyes, but after a little while, she decided she would like to go to the hospital. I held up her IV as we drove there, she closed her eyes and tried to sleep. I wondered if there was something I could have or should have done differently. 

At the hospital they do not allow families into the delivery room. The midwifes there stated my patient was their 6th birth of the day and one of those had been a set of twins. After helping her into the birthing chair we waited for the doctor to arrive. As we were waiting a women beside us gave birth to her baby. I could feel my patient's heaviness, this was the second baby that had given birth while she was laboring. After the doctor arrived they helped her try and push a few times, but soon decided that she needed a c-section (I am still not entirely sure why). 

Taking ahold of my hand she said,"I'm scared, what if I die." What do you say, how do respond? "You won't. Pray to God, I know that He will care for you." I replied. Tears swelled behind my eyes, "I'm a professional, I can't cry" I thought to myself. I stood there stroking her hair and holding her hand until they were ready to transport her to the surgery. I hated to go, but I knew they wouldn't let me in with her. Promising to return the next day, I prayed for her, squeezed her hand and left.

Back up to 7am in the morning, my cell phone goes off, "Ma'am, I am on my way. I am in labor". It's my other patient. "Oh, goodness, I knew this was going to happen" I think to myself as I go make the other bed. Soon this patient arrives and she looks like she is quite active. This is baby number two for her and they normally come faster. I check and find her cervix is 5cm with strong contractions, hum, who will deliver first? 

With the help of the other midwives, I manage to juggle both laboring women. Soon it becomes obvious that the mother to arrive second is going to deliver first. Her urge to push is strong and she can't help but push & soon the baby's head is visible. She pushes on the birth stool with me squatting in front of her, when baby is born into my hands. He does not cry right away. We work on stimulating him and give a few breaths of air before he starts crying. In the mean time the mother starts to bleed and requires oxytocin. Before too long mom and baby are happily snuggled up together, baby's breathing is still a bit irregular, but they will both be OK. After doing a few checks, my other patient is sounding more active and I head over to be with her. 

Fast forward. I am leaving the hospital, my eyes are heavy since I was up at 1am to assist for a birth and then up again at 3am when my patient came in. Arriving back to the clinic I poke my head into the postpartum room where I find patient #2 sitting on the bed with her baby, husband & little 3 year old girl. They all look up and smile at me, it warms my heart. I hustle up stairs and quickly make a cup of instant coffee mixed with milo, I sit down and drink it. This coffee will get me through discharge. 

I hustle back down stairs and with the help of the other student, Aisling, we give the baby a bath (He proceeds to poop all over Aisling's arms ;), take a last set of vital signs, fill out the birth certificate information and schedule postpartum appointments. I decide to wait on pictures because I can barely keep my eyes open and am, lets just say not looking my best. 

At about 6:30pm, I am sitting in the postpartum room, my patient had just left with her new little bundle of joy. It always makes me happy to watch a family leave with their new baby, such a special time. Laying my head back against the wall, I am so, so tired, yet so satisfied. I look down at the bed and consider laying down and closing my eyes for just a moment. But I laugh at myself, because I know if I lay down that is where I would be found the next day. So I got my butt up and finished my work. An hour later after dinner and a shower I am in bed and quickly slip off to dream land. 

I did go see my patient who had a c-section today. Mom is tried, but ok and baby is beautiful. Unfortunately I was unable to get a photo.

Funny little story

I am not sure that I should admit this, but last year I had a bald spot on the top of my head! Yikes! Why you ask. Well, one day I got a lovely boil on the top of my head (yuck). A week or so later ALL the hair fell out in that spot, clean, clear, shinny smooth no more hair. And then days went by, weeks went by, I think even months went by and no hair started to grow. I had to do comb overs or you would see my bald spot. I began to worry. What if hair never, ever, grew back in that spot? Would I have to worry about keeping it covered up for the rest of my life? To my relief one day as I was checking it out in the mirror there was a tiny itty bitty amount of hair growing. Whew. As you will see in the picture below a year later and it is not quite grown out just yet. 

Bald!!!

YAY it grew back! Seems to be curly now :0/ If I am not careful it sticks straight up on the top of my head!
Oh the joy ;) 

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for catching another lovely baby at 11:02am. Little Jashmine slipped into my hands after her mother gently and slowly pushed her into this world. It was beautiful! I don't think I will ever tire of watching a woman become a mother for the very first time :)