I will be posting any further blogs at: http://midwifeinssudan.aimsites.org/

Pressed

I ran across this poem when going through some of my old papers. The last few weeks before moving overseas are hard for me. Living a life of constant transition is difficult and yet with the pressure comes a brokeness that leads to a Christ-life outpoured. 

Pressed! 

Pressed out of measure, and pressed to all length;

Pressed so intensely it seems beyond strength;

Pressed in the body and pressed in the soul; 

Pressed in the mind till the dark surges roll:

Pressure by foes, and pressure by friends; 

Pressure on pressure till life nearly ends:

Pressed into knowing no helper but God;

Pressed into loving the staff and the rod:

Pressed into liberty where nothing clings;

Pressed into faith for impossible things: 

Pressed into living a life in the Lord; 

Pressed into living a Christ-life outpoured. 

- Unknown

Picture courtesy of google

Does Jesus care?

Southern Sudan is in the midst of turmoil. Please click here: Does Jesus care? and read about how one missionary is seeing the Lord work during these difficult times.

Life as a home-birth midwife

I had been feeling that there would be a birth on Valentines day, with the full moon and all. But there wasn't. So here it was the day after, my head stuffy and nose running. It was 9pm and I was looking at a bottle of Benadryl:  should I or shouldn't I? I debated. The misery of my runny nose won and I reasoned that the chances were unlikely that I would be called as I tipped back the 2 tablespoons and envisioned a full nights rest. 

A pile of blankets on my bed, Call the Midwife novel in hand, I snuggled down for a lovely nights rest. With the help of the book and Benadryl, I soon could no longer keep my eyes open and flipped off the light. Sweet wonderful sleep, surely I will feel much improved in the morning I thought as I drifted off to dream land. 

Not even 40 minutes later my phone rings. Surely not I think, but I know. Sure enough it is Kathi and she says a mother is in labor and I need to come. I have to confess, it doesn't matter how much I love something that first step forward is hard to take. As I said OK, I'm coming and hung-up the phone, I looked at my cozy, warm bed and saw my dreams of a wonderful night’s sleep vanishing before my eyes. 

About 10 minutes later I was pulling out of my drive way into the night. It was 10:45pm. My GPS told me I would reach my destination in an hour. As I turned onto the main road, from the little side road, for some reason I didn't use my blinker or come to a complete stop - there was no one in sight. What is the point right? Shortly after I turned, I saw red and blue lights in my rearview window "oh crap" I said as I pulled over. "do you know why I pulled you over?" the officer asked,  I stammer that I am a midwife on my way to a birth as I handed him my license and registration. This is my second time being pulled over since returning from the Philippines, but only my 4th time in 14 years. I pray he will have mercy on me and not give me a ticket. He comes back and thankfully only gave me a warning. Whew!  

One huge difference between being a midwife here vs in the Philippines, is that in the Philippines the women came to us and here we go to them. I love both, but there is something extra exciting about driving through the night to a birth. Thankfully the roads were dry and I made good time. I had never been to this family’s home before and had only met the mother once. She told me their house is a little confusing to find, but I stored her instructions in the back of my mind. As I parked my car in an empty parking lot, I looked over in the direction where the GPS says the house is, there are many homes. What is the worst that can happen I think:  go to the wrong house at midnight. Thankfully her directions come flooding back and I made my way to the correct house. 

When I opened the door, I could see my fellow midwife across the room and the mother laboring in a birth tub. It is quiet and the lighting is dim. I headed back and say hi to everyone. The mother sounds transitional and I quietly and quickly helped set up the needed supplies for the birth. I am the assistant, so I lingered more in the back shadows. Shortly after I arrived, the couple’s  little girl, about 6,  woke up and came to watch. She is quiet, content and doesn't appear worried at the noises and strange movement coming from her mother. She just watches and helps offer her mom water. It is sweet. 

About an hour after I arrived, her water breaks and we know the baby will come quickly now. Sure enough, with mom kneeing in the tub, and only about two pushes, her baby girl comes sliding into the world. Beautiful!  I tried to remember to chart what was happening. Time seems to stand still at the moment of birth and I too want to stand still. But I have a job to do and I must record what is happening and make sure both mom and baby are OK. I love all aspects of being a midwife and the care that I give, but for me the moment of birth is like the icing on the cake. 

After a few moments the mom looked to discover if she has a boy or girl. She states "a girl, just like I thought".  The husband looks surprised and has to ask twice if she is sure. They already have one boy and one girl, but he was obviously hoping for a boy.  He smiles and says to his little son in his arms "I guess we are out numbered now". 

The 3 hours after the birth went quickly as we helped make the family comfortable and monitor mom and baby. They are doing great and soon we are putting on our boots and coats and heading back into the darkness. It is snowing when I leave.  I yawned and decided that I needed to find some coffee before I make the journey home. Meijer is just down the road and it is open 24hrs. I head there, it is 3:30am and they are busy restocking the store. I quickly bought my coffee drink and am soon on my way home. The snow was softly coming down, the darkness surrounds me and I am tired. I change the radio and sing sleepily along to the songs. It is hard to stay awake. But I finally make it home, back to the bed I left many hours ago and snuggle down until the sunshine comes beamingin my window a few hours later. 

Horse books for sale

 I have had it in the back of my mind for a while now that I need to sell my horse books. But it is hard to do. Today I finally sorted through them and looked up prices on Amazon and here they are for sale. I will be using the money from these books to help with my missionary work. Thank you and message me for any information or if you would like to buy some or them all :)

$60 for all four books. Make offer if you don't want them all 

$40 for all four books - make offer if you don't want them all

$100 for all four - Make offer if you don't want them all 

$20 for both - make offer if you only want one

$80 for all four - make offer if you don't want them all 

Make offer

$100 for all four - make offer if you don't want them all 

$50 for all 3 - make offer if you don't want them all 

$20 for the 3 - make offer if you don't want them all 

$40 - missing tape 

Happy New year - A short look at 2013

Happy New Year! This year I found myself ringing in the year with my parents, one of my brother's and his family and two friends. It was a fun filled evening and a sharp contrast to last year.

2013 was a full year for me. It was a year of hellos and goodbyes. Of joy and of pain. A year of questions and taking a deeper look at my life's path. In it all one thing remained the same, God's consistent love and guidance. Sometimes life can seem overwhelming and I am thankful that He never changes through it all. Here is a few highlights of my year. Enjoy :)

I "caught" 20 babies. 

                                                     Moved from Asia to North America.

                                       Took the most stressful test of my LIFE and passed! 

                                   

Imported my dog Clover to the States and said goodbye to my old dog Zacchaeus. 

I made a decision to serve in Doro, S. Sudan starting in April 2014.

Was blessed with my first nephew :)

Took a pack trip in the mountains of Wyoming with a good friend. 

Found myself in temperatures ranging from over 100 to -20. 

I turned 30 - the lead up to it was more traumatic then the actual day ;) which I got to spend with my favorite little girls :) 

These are just a few key points. All in all it was a great year full of many blessings. Thank you to everyone who helped me, supported me and prayed for me!

 I hope that your 2013 was a good year and I wish you the best in 2014! 

It is hard to say goodbye.

He is an old dog. His joints are stiff, hearing gone, sight diminished, mind confused. In fact he doesn't even know who I am anymore, but that doesn't make saying goodbye any easier.

I picked Zacchaeus out of a litter of puppies when I was 16 years old. A lady standing beside me admiring the wiggly short legged corgi puppies assured me that he was the best one. I am still not sure why my parents said yes when I called them asking if I could bring him home, but I am glad they did.

Zacchaeus and my other dog Jake became fast friends and my best friends along with my horse, Romeo. We traveled many roads together, they even jumped out of my pick-up and followed me into a Wal-Mart once! Zacchaeus loved to go horse back riding, most of the time he followed so close to the horse's heels you would think he would get hit, but he never did. When I was home in 2011, at 11 years old he was still walking old familiar trails with me.

It is hard to say goodbye and every time I do, I am reminded that I was never meant to ever say goodbye. Zacchaeus has been getting noticeably worse in the few months that I have been home. Tonight he seems to have taken a big turn for the worse and I am afraid that tomorrow I will have to say the final goodbye. I don't want to and it doesn't matter if it is tomorrow or the next day or the next day. I will never want to say goodbye….

I love you my little man, thanks for being such a good friend! 

Under a apple tree

God answered my prayer. 

When I was in the Philippines during one of our devotion times we all drew a picture of something we were asking God for in the coming year on a large sheet of paper. I drew a picture of myself with my six nieces and Clover under an apple tree. 

To many this may seem like a silly prayer request. But for me it had much significance. It signified that:

                I had ended my two years of midwifery training.

                          Clover had actually made it to the USA.

                                All my nieces and I were  together at last. 

                  Joy, peace and laughter were part of my days.

                             I was home, in a place I love, with people I love. 

 Thank you Jesus for answered prayers!

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7

Saying goodbye

After two years of living at Abundant Grace of God, my time has come to an end. I was blessed by all the people who passed through my life while I lived and served there. New friends were made and new lessons learned. I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who made my training in the Philippines possible - the people who prayed, gave and taught me! Thank you for being God's hands and feet in my life and thank you for believing in me!

Only God knows what all the future will hold for me. But I do know that wherever I go and whatever life throws my way, I will strive to live Christ to those around me. I am so grateful for my skills as a midwife and I look forward to using them to serve women both here at home and in Africa.

Enjoy a few pictures of my last few special days in the Philippines.

With a group of women and babies that I helped give care for/deliver at a party I held for them right before I left - it was such a blessing to be able to see so many!  

One of my last continuity patients - she ended up delivering in the hospital.  

I will miss watching "my" babies grow up!

The first baby Tianne in the Philippines - she was not to sure about her name sake :)  

Aaron and his pretty mama

Happy boy Christian  

They were not able to make the party, so some stopped by the clinic to say goodbye - so sweet! 

Alice and her new baby, Chloe Grace, who she asked me and Aisling to name. 

A sweet gift from a patient

The day after my party I was honored by a small graduation ceremony. We have a lovely dinner and then Georgia presenting me with a neckless with original Kalinga beads on it and my certificate of diploma from New Life School of Midwifery. Two years of accomplishment - finished! The Filipino staff sang me a farewell song - so sweet!  

Georgia and I

The Filipino girls singing - love you girls! 

Spending time together.

Myself with Hazel and baby Cayleen - my very first catch! 

“Good bye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end, but in my heart is the memory and there you will always be.” ― Walt Disney Company

And she's off!

The last few days spent in Manila with Clover were pretty uneventful. We went on our twice daily walks along the bay and got different reactions from the many people we passed by. My personal favorite was when people would break out in "Teach me how to doggy, teach me, teach me, how to doggy" while doing a little dance.

The last night we even went for a buggy ride through China town and old Manila. It was dusk and raining, but fun. Well fun until we got back and the driver decided to try to guilt me into giving him more money - which actually worked, but not as much as he had planned for. Ah well.

Sunday evening buggy ride

Clover sight seeing on a buggy ride 

Clover had to lay on her bed, while I was adding the lining - too cute

Yesterday when I flagged down a taxi to take Clover to the airport and told him where I wanted to go he said "Oh I don't think they will allow her" pointing at Clover. I convinced him that yes they would :)  On the way he randomly says "why do you want a dog and not a man." In my head I thought "why can't I have a man and a dog?" To the taxi driver I said "Well dogs are loyal, they don't argue and they are always happy to see you" :)

At 3:30pm I left Clover in her crate at the KLM cargo area in Manila, where she would await her 7pm flight. I had a mix of emotions as I left her there: it is really happening, am I crazy, worrying for her during the 30hrs of transient and excitement of actually seeing her in a week at home.

The top of Clover's crate 

Weighing in 

Saying goodbye from afar :( 

I really can't believe Clover is somewhere between America and the Philippines at this very moment! Crazy! Praising God that He cares about the little things that make me happy!